We've all made mistakes. We've all had our feelings hurt. We've all probably felt pretty shitty at some point in our lives.
When these things happen - as they inevitable do - our go-to coping strategies usually aren't that helpful. You won't be surprised to know that shoving chocolate in our faces, binge watching TV, or [fill in the blank with your favorite numbing strategy] doesn't help you learn from your mistakes. Similarly, beating ourselves up with cruel self-talk ("you are so stupid..." ) isn't a great strategy for growth and development.
Our intentions are good. We are trying our best with the strategies that we have.
Here's a new tool to add to your toolbox for those moments when we feel like a failure. Research by Dr. Kristin Neff, Dr. Chris Germer, and others has shown that self-compassion is a effective alternative strategy for helping ourselves learn, grow and improve. As a bonus, the better we are able to help ourselves, the better we're able to care for those around us.
Below are two practices to try, recorded with my group at the end of December 2022. I also want to recommend Dr. Kristin Neff's 5-minute self-compassion break. It's so short that you can often sneak away for this practice in moments of acute distress. Say you're going to the bathroom and play this 5-minute recording. :)
Wishing you much peace!