Gratitude In - and For - Tough Times
- katyromita
- Jan 28
- 2 min read
Robert Emmons, an expert on gratitude, defines gratitude as having two components:
“First, it’s an affirmation of goodness.”
Second, and this is the part that is maybe more surprising: “we recognize that the sources of this goodness are outside of ourselves.”
This definition of gratitude places us in the world. It also provides a sense of spaciousness. Goodness is bigger than our individual lives. It exists, inherently.
An inherent goodness, out there in the world, sure feels at odds with the news, with my social media feed, with the looming sense of anxiety that I think many feel.
Can we be grateful -- should we be grateful -- when there is so much suffering and cruelty?
The experts would say "yes" -- we can and we should.
Being grateful for the good things in your life doesn't make you selfish -- it actually expands your capacity for love, connection, and compassion.
One of the most intuitive things it does is that it increases our joy. Who doesn’t want that? Brené Brown, another leading scientific researcher of gratitude, interviewed thousands of people and found: “Without exception, every person I interviewed who described living a joyful life or described themselves as joyful actively practiced gratitude and attributed their joyfulness to that practice.” (source) But the joy doesn't just benefit the person feeling it -- gratitude also increases resiliency to deal with communal challenges (source) and it strengthens relationships (source). Practicing gratitude rewires the brain so that we can better take care of ourselves and the world around us (source).
The only thing is -- gratitude is a practice. Meaning you can't be passively grateful. You need to consciously articulate what you are grateful for. Some people keep gratitude journals. Some people go around the table at dinner and share things they are grateful for. Some people silently list to themselves 3 things they’re grateful for while they brush their teeth in the morning. The practice can be easy, but it needs to be conscious.
If you're interested in trying a gratitude practice for difficult times, you can try this "yes, and..." meditation below. It creates space for acknowledging our hard feelings while also tapping into gratitude. This meditation was taught to me by Liza Kindred and for that I'm grateful!
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