Muffins, New Moons, and Doing What We Can

Enough, Together

February 17th was a new moon, symbolizing new beginnings.  I don't know about you, but "new beginnings" feel pretty welcome to me right about now! 

From recent conversations (or maybe I’m projecting), it seems like there is a pervading sense of wanting to do something – but also feeling like we’re not enough. Not powerful enough to make a difference, not knowledgeable enough to know what to do, not skilled enough to contribute what’s needed.

Buddhists refer to the “trap of doubt,” the voice inside our head that tells us we’re not enough and stops us before we even start.  (Not surprisingly, Buddhists also think that meditation can help us overcome the trap of doubt and move forward with more wisdom. Interested? Join the online meditations.)

One way the “trap of doubt” can wind its way into our heads is with the belief that to do anything, we must do something big, heroic, immediately measurable, something we can point to and say, “look at this amazing thing I did.”

I’ve been returning to these two quotes about what to do, from the anthology All We Can Save:

“It turns out that communities are the most important force that allows humans to weather great storms, literally and metaphorically.” - Christine E. Nieves Rodriguez 

“One of the best things you can do to prepare for a disaster is to bring your neighbor a basket of muffins, because you have to get to know them before the storm.” - Dr. Samantha Montano 

Minnesota’s success in standing up to ICE may be in part because they have a culture of bringing muffins, of stopping to chat, of going to civic events – of nurturing community. 

Tending to community is qualitative more than quantitative. It’s not something we can cross off our to do list. (And, I do love crossing things off my to do list! ) Frankly, nurturing relationships is also historically considered more feminine, softer, less obviously productive. But maybe showing up, being present, and creating connection - those invisible threads that build community - is something we should more overtly value.

For sure, there is also tangible work to do – write the postcards , call the politicians, donate money to organizations doing the good work . But, also, lean into the work of creating community, extend the small kindnesses and make connection everywhere you can. 

I was talking about this with a friend of mine and she pointed out that people who do small kind things might also be more primed to do large kind things. Maybe it is a kind of habit that builds over time. Maybe it is also how culture is built – one small act – one societal norm – at a time. We all do our thing and create our world. 🧁❤️

P.S. Online Resources:

🧘 MEDITATION: Try a Loving-Kindness meditation for connection to all your neighbors, found at the bottom of the Mr. Rogers Knew a Thing or Two blog post.

📰 ARTICLE: Dr. Kristin Neff’s self-compassion tools are super helpful in using mindfulness to be our own best inner coach and overcome the "trap of doubt."

✍️ JOURNAL PROMPTS: Answer 3 questions from Dr. Ayana Elizabeth Johnson's Venn Diagram to focus in on where you - with your particular skills and interests - can provide the most help!