An Invitation to Equanimity, Buddhist Style

"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." - Jon Kabat-Zinn

Thank you for being here! Today is a New Moon, punctuating the start of a fresh cycle – during what feels to me like an interminable season of uncertainty and fear. Maybe, like me, you find comfort in the moon cycle's reliable invitation to look up, to look out beyond ourselves, and into the broader rhythm of life. In that spirit, please enjoy this invitation to Buddhist equanimity:

💭 Imagine 4 people sitting in a circle: yourself, a loved one, someone you barely know, and an “enemy.” (And, no, sorry, this isn’t the start of a joke.) 

💭 Once you’ve got this group in your mind, say to everyone, including yourself: “may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe.”

You just did a shorthand Buddhist Loving-Kindness practice, taught for thousands of years as a way to create equanimity. ⚖️ Merriam-Webster definition of equanimity: “evenness of mind especially under stress.”

More equanimity seems good! 🙌 👏 But to be honest, I didn’t understand until very recently how a practice of sending good wishes out to a pretty eclectic group of people could cultivate my "calm and composure in difficult situations."

Then, in a class I'm taking with the Good Grief Network, the facilitators shared some research that when we are threatened, we retreat back to “our" group and we treat “others” as less. This checks out with my experience and seems to match what I know of history.

A narrow, defensive posture is inherently more reactive and unstable – aka, less prone to equanimity – than a broader perspective. When we can't see beyond our own nose and are in a bubble of reinforcing beliefs, it's hard to act with any "evenness of mind" - let alone wisdom or compassion. 👉 In other words, the ancient Buddhist practice of Loving-Kindness – where we wish well to ourselves, a loved one, a stranger, and an “enemy” — counteracts our human impulse to retreat to a small group in scary times. Aha! 

💚 Loving-Kindness is more than starry-eyed aspirations. It can palpably decreases our panicked, knee-jerk reactions, by broadening our perspective and giving us a bigger foundation on which to stand. Hmmm. 🤔 I’ll be practicing.

✨✨ If you want to practice with me, Loving-Kindness meditations ⚖️ are here. You can also find a few other opportunities to practice together here (like an upcoming workshop exclusively focused on Loving-Kindness.)